Long-Distance Caregiving

When you live a long distance from a loved one with breast cancer you may sometimes feel powerless and/or frustrated.  You’re definitely not alone.  Those who have walked this path before have the following suggestions.

Long-distance caregiving presents unique challenges. Things you might like to do, such as attending doctor’s appointments, providing transportation, or simply “laying eyes” on your loved one are more difficult when you must travel a significant distance to do so.  Long-distance caregiving is common, though, and there are things you can do to make it easier.

• Keep the lines of communication open.  Make sure you know what your loved one with cancer wants and that she or he knows what you are thinking.  It is also important to communicate with other caregivers.
• Learn all you can. Gather information about the medical, emotional, financial, and legal needs of your loved one.  Depending on his or her wishes, you might share this information.  Regardless, this information will help you.
• Meet the healthcare team. If you can make a trip home, try to attend a doctor’s appointment to meet the care team.  If traveling isn’t currently an option, ask your loved one if you can call her or his medical providers to introduce yourself and let them know that you play a key role in providing care.
• Explore home care services. Home care services range from basic medical care such as dressing changes to assisting with housekeeping, meals, and personal care. Some, but not all home care services are covered by health insurance.  Talk with your loved one’s insurance company about coverage, and ask the healthcare team for reputable providers.
• Coordinate volunteers. While you can’t physically be there, you can arrange for others to be.  Explore with your loved ones what would be helpful (e.g. bringing meals, help with transportation, visits, etc.), and organize local volunteers to help. 
• Mindfully prepare for visits. If possible, be prepared to travel if the person with cancer needs you unexpectedly. Consider letting your employer and family know the situation and reserve vacation or sick days.  For scheduled visits, carefully talk through with your loved one what (in addition to reconnecting and enjoying time together) you hope to accomplish during the visit.
• Seek emotional support. Long-distance caregiving is a tough job.  It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty or as though you should be doing more.  Connect with other caregivers for support.